Between August 28, 2023, and August 11, 2024, I lost both of my parents (ages 95 and 99) and my 20-year-old granddaughter, Grace. It was a huge amount of grief and loss to process all at once. The grief has not gone away, but, as I’ve heard would happen from various sources, I’ve learned to live with it. I’ve managed to find ways to grieve and remember my parents and granddaughter as part of my everyday life.
My mom was a potter who made beautiful coffee mugs, plates, and small bowls. When we were cleaning out her studio after she passed, I took quite a few items that are now a part of nearly every meal I set on the table. Cleaning out her kitchen, I collected some of her well-used dish towels and a sweet little paring knife with a wooden handle that I use regularly.
To remember my dad and make him a part of my everyday life, I’ve made a commitment to keep moving. Midway into his 90s, he was still climbing a ladder to clear leaves out of the storm drain, and kept busy with yard work. He waterskied into his 80s, and maintained the local arboretum in his small town until he lost his vision at 95. I think of my dad when I walk every day, ride my bike, and dig in my garden. I carry him in my heart when I travel to faraway places, remembering to live every day to its fullest.
The grief for my granddaughter is still the most persistent. I keep her alive in my heart by noticing and photographing beautiful sunrises and sunsets, or interesting cloud formations. Like my dad, I carry her with me when I travel, especially where there is a physical challenge involved. When I walked long distances for consecutive days on the Camino de Santiago in Spain, I felt her right there with me, encouraging me to keep going. When opportunities to extend myself and pursue new adventures arise, I feel Grace’s presence. My heart aches for her still, and I also know the depth of the feeling of loss is the same as the love I feel.
The celebration of Día de los Muertos is a welcome event each year. I love the idea of remembering those who have gone on from our lives, and having a place to celebrate their memories with our Seed community. This year I’ve loved seeing the different ofrendas and hearing various stories about the family members (human and four-legged) who are now part of our lives through memories.
In preparation for our staff weekly memo, I ran across this quote by Thomas Campbell: “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” Día de los Muertos is a way to keep those we’ve loved and lost alive in our hearts, to keep telling their stories, and remembering. It’s one more way we can help our community feel loved and supported. For further reading about the Seed’s history with Día de los Muertos, here are some links to previous blogs:
https://www.awakeningseedschool.org/2025/10/in-memory-of-those-whove-gone/
https://www.awakeningseedschool.org/2023/11/ancestral-remembrance/
https://www.awakeningseedschool.org/2022/11/in-remembrance/
https://www.awakeningseedschool.org/2017/11/ofrenda/